No one said it would be easy, only that it would be worth it...

...Well I know, it really will be worth it in the end, it's why I do it.


I thought my blog title was going to be obsolete and I'd need to change it, because my son was potty trained. WAS potty trained. Now he's regressed. So Yay, I don't need to sit and think of a new name! Plus I have baby #2 on the way so we'll still be the traveling nomad family with a diaper butt for awhile.
I was really frustrated with my son, for teasing us with all his big boy peeing and pooping on the toilet so we didn't even need pull-ups, and then it seems since his Daddy left, he decided that he will only pee on the toilet. Poop has no place in the toilet, and it will never go there. He will hold it in for days if he must, potty monster does NOT deserve his food! Well, I get to thinking and talking to a few professionals in the matter, and I really do need to leave it alone and let him poop his pants for a little longer. Although I'm not thrilled with being THAT parent of the kid who always smells like poo, he JUST turned three and boys are notorious for being difficult potty trainers. Plus, at the same time I got a new job and sent him to the babysitter full-time, his Daddy deployed for the 4th time, and I guess it's too much for his little brain to process. When big changes occur in a toddler's life, sleep or potty training are the first to go out the window, and I guess I should be happy that sleep is still fine in this house! So I'm trying real hard to make it a non-issue right now, and we'll revisit in a couple months maybe.
I still get to hear the words "Mommy, I dotta, doe pee-pee!!"

And wow, I'm going to be a Mother of TWO! This is not a SHOCK because I didn't want it, it's just a shock because, WHOA! Another human being that God forms together in MY body for me to care for. That's HUGE with lots of ups and downs and everything in-between. I am not one of the women who is a big fan of being pregnant. I get a lot of "well you should really think of those who don't get to have babies and then you should be grateful" No, that makes me more sad, actually. I WANT every woman in the world to have a chance at being a mother--the most incredible experience ever! I am so adamant about it that I think if you're single and the clock is ticking, go pick out a specimen and get inseminated (half-kidding)!
Sorry, but things about pregnancy are awful! Especially when you're a control freak--you have to pray a lot. I cannot stand not knowing what I want to eat, and not being excited about most foods during the first trimester and just overall feeling like garbage. When I feel sick I get too scared that I'm not in good enough shape to be an outstanding mother and servant at work. The exhaustion that comes from your body working overtime building a human, my moods are like a never-ending PMS session, not being able to control those swings because they just sneak up, is really not cool!
I'm SO thankful for the people who have put up with my moods and my crappy attitudes, they just chalk it up to hormones and move on, for I am fully aware, that the end result of pregnancy is why I do it. Growing them myself though... man...

Let's not get into ALL THE INDIGESTION. I hope my child is okay with Tums and Gas-X being a normal part of his/her diet.

I'm still frightened by the fact that I will potentially explode and die from all the love I will feel. Like, despite his monstrous behavior, my son is the light of my life, and everything I never thought I'd deserve. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever created and the best thing to ever happen to me. HOW DO YOU FEEL THAT MORE THAN ONCE WITHOUT DYING???? And how do you spread it to each offspring equally? Does it just WORK? Anyhow, I can't wait!!

I should add, the other shocker I experienced was getting a really great job at the same time I found out I was pregnant. TOTALLY WANTED BOTH REALLY BAD, but was hoping for them to be spread apart a little... God's plan is better than mine though, so hey, I'm jumping in!
It's been difficult, I've had to try to master putting together me and Christopher's daily life after being unemployed for 5 months, I still don't have it figured out but we're here, and we're surviving, and the weather is getting warmer, and I'm in LOVE with that! He sometimes sleeps in my bed with me, which I don't mind 'cause i love to look at him. We often have PB&J for dinner, maybe even just Cheerio's or even better, muffins! But, we always add fruit. ;) My house goes on blast all week, until I can finally find time to clean it on weekends. I may throw in a little vacuuming or I'll load/unload the dishwasher during the week, but that's the extent.

I've had to teach myself to be okay with that.

I hate having to teach myself stuff, I just want to BE the way I need to be instead of having to work at it. I have enough "work" to do in and out of the home that I don't want to work on myself I guess?

Teaching myself that it doesn't work like that. UGH!

I'm slowly getting better at my job. There's so much to take in and process, so much systems and software and terms and methods, and THINGS I have been and still need to get used to.
I will continue to be a working Mom when #2 arrives. I found ANOTHER... FABULOUS daycare that I am confident Christopher and #2 will be fine at and even love, and I may even love them to the extent that I cry when we leave (like I did once before in another time and place). It's affordable and Praise God I found it! I LOVE to work outside of the home. I never once felt like anyone else was raising my child for me. If anything, they were a HUGE support system, and it saddens me that others have not had the same experience with daycare/babysitters. Here's where a pregnancy comment will commence, ready for it???

If I hear/read one more person say "Oh I could never send off my child to a daycare to have someone else raise him/her for me" I'm going to start punching kittens!!

I don't want to punch kittens. :(

It truly IS hard to leave your child with someone else at first, but it gets easier, I promise. And if you make sure of it, you don't end up missing their "firsts" either.

Then I miss my hubby something terrible. Deployments NEVER get easier, You only get stronger, but you don't know it until it's over, because I can assure you I feel like a hot mess right now, rather than strong. I feel extremely dumb at all times, from all of the things I have to do and remember. Can you believe I just had a FB conversation with a friend where we both agreed that we would take any of the previous deployments over this one? It's true! And none of the deployments are necessarily good, but the previous ones were easier than the current. I miss his company, I miss his help, I miss wanting to punch him in the face because he's so annoying. I'm quite exhausted from doing everything myself. Like, "yes Christopher, what else do you need before I can finally sit down and eat my OWN dinner?" and Dear Lacy Dog, since you only listen to your Daddy and he's not here, you have to be on a dog line when you are outside because you are naughty and don't listen to me and I literally have NO EXTRA TIME To chase you and find you! You also get to eat a special powder on your food because I cannot stomach your butt-breath from eating your poop anymore!

The Department of Defense should know that deployments not only cause people to have mental breakdowns and get mis-diagnosed with diabetes, but it also causes toddlers to stop pooping in the potty!

Yes it's what we signed up for, and my heart is proud... but whoa...

Do we know what we are doing yet?

My husband was supposed to depart a week ago. The little man and I are so happy that we got another week with Daddy, and now it looks like that will continue into two weeks! It's been really great having him home, right on the day when I was starting to feel a little empty and very bored, the day before I get in "the Zone" and start my own schedule and get used to a deployment. That's the good side of the Army not knowing their butts from their elbows. However, as many spouses feel I'm sure--if they HAVE to go, can they just get going already and get this over with?!?!

The past weekend has been relaxing, not much going on, the snowy tundra continues, and although I was hoping to escape it, and go downstate to my parents house, having my husband home a little longer is good too. Since the week began, he's been hogging my phone (he had his turned off since he THOUGHT he'd be gone by now) trying to figure out when he's leaving. One guy tells him one thing, another guy tells him another, and so on. In the mean time, I'm trying to plan a birthday party for our son, figure out when I'm going to my parents house, eat breakfast and get dressed, decide whether or not I'm going to stock up on groceries for the next couple weeks or not, because I'm not going to if I won't be here! On top of that, I cannot find my camera, and if we do go downstate to visit the family, I need my packages to come in the mail because I ordered some more interview clothing, and I don't want it sitting in the snow all week! I also need my phone back because I'm frantic about this camera and I need to find out if I left it at either parents house, the last time I was there!

First world problems.

Looks like he's leaving in the next few days (can't say much in detail on the internet, for those reading and wondering about specifics) and if he doesn't, we still won't know when!! HAHAHA! Hopefully we'll get better good-bye pics this time, if I can find my camera!

I'm really looking foreword to the Welcome Home ceremony in 9 months, those are the best! Now that we are in the home state, all the family can come witness it as well. :)

Last night, was one of the cutest, fun, fantastic and amazing nights with my boy. As I was putting him to bed, I sang our usual FOUR bed time songs: "Jesus Loves Me," "Jesus Loves the Little Children," "Lord's Army," and "Sunshine." He decided for the first time that he wanted to sing along with me! It was THE CUTEST and I was so PROUD hearing him sing those words, and just couldn't help marveling at how smart he is for knowing all the words. Then he just continued to be his silly self and make up words or sounds that went along with the tunes, and I would tickle him every time which caused more laughing and well, his laugh is my favorite. <3

I will try and capture this on video soon. It seems that right now, he still feels a bit silly singing and so he may not do it on camera.

Proud Mother moments, I never thought they'd happen to me at one point in my life. Now they are happening every single day. Even if he does make me want to sell him at some points. Three is definitely better and worse than 2.

I'm off to watch Disney Jr. with my little crazy nut.

A combination of Army annoyance, and toddler antics.

It's time again for another deployment for us. It came very sudden when hubb got word that he was going with only a weeks notice (but then we ended up with two weeks, which is great)!  So we've been preparing and enjoying our time together. We'll be fine, we've done this 3 times before. No one worry about us, we'll be just great!

Today was the day he was supposed to leave but due to the weather they can't leave. I'm starting to notice a pattern here in Northern NY; snow, frigid temps, spring temps, high winds with rain and the snow melts, snow comes back and temps go down again. In true ARMY form, someone decided the guys can't leave post and go home for one extra day while we wait for the weather to subside.

So my day so far has been like this:

No sleep at all until 4 a.m. cause we had to bring Craig at 3 a.m. to base, and I couldn't fall asleep before that because that's how I roll before I have to drop my husband off for almost a year in a foreign country. We drop him off, after saying our good-byes, drive home in the high winds almost blowing away--with a toddler. 4.5 hours of sleep and at 8:30 a.m. getting notified they can't fly out and I need to come get him.

Coffee.

Sweet, "another day with Daddy!" I tell Christopher. We get ready to leave, which entails chasing toddler around the house trying to get clothes on him, he thinks it's a fun game. No.

On the way he drops a train in the car "Mommy my train!!!" I sweetly say "I can't get it right now my love, I'm driving"
Christopher: "but I want you to get it!!!"
Me: "I can't reach it, I have to drive!"
Christopher: "Nooooooo, get it!!!"
Me: "If I get it, we'll get boo-boos!"
Christopher: "I need my train!!"
Me: "we have to go get Daddy!"
Christopher: "I don't want you to drive!!"
Me: "well that's the only way Daddy can come home for today"
Christopher: " NOOOOOOO!!!"

Does anyone else have random, weird arguments with their toddler too, or is it just my blessing?

Then I get a phone call again from hubbs, "Don't come, I'm sorry... they won't let us leave but the flight is still cancelled until tomorrow"

So I turn around to go back home.

Christopher: "I don't wanna go back to the NEW HOUSE (he still calls it that)"
Me: "I'm sorry buddy, we can't go get Daddy yet"
Christopher (Crying): "But I wanna go get Daddy!!!!"
Me: "I know bud, but he said no, we can't get him yet"
Christopher: "nooooo! He said YESSSSS!!!!"
Me: "oh okay baby"

He proceeds to cry. A few minutes later: "Mommy I'm all done!!!"
Me: "Oh good baby, I don't like when You cry"
Christopher: "cause it makes everyone sad?"
Me: "Yes baby, it makes us sad when you cry or when you're naughty"
Christopher: "when I'm a good boy, it makes everyone SOOOO HAPPY?!?!"
Me: "yes baby, it does"

This kid is going to be THREE tomorrow. I cannot believe that time has gone by already.
I remember saying to one of his previous care takers "I don't ever see him being a three-year-old, I don't see it happening" and she said to me "Well get ready Mom, cause it's gonna happen!"
And here it is. Now, I can't believe he was ever that little.

He is a chocolate milk and pb&j addict. I don't know if I can ever get him to eat much of anything else. Once in awhile he'll have broccoli or an apple = WIN! He also likes cheese, ham, french fries, chicken fingers and buttered noodles. For snacks he likes Nutri-Grain bars, cheerios, goldfish, or cookies. So I guess he's okay. I hope as he gets older he'll adopt healthier eating habits--like when he can understand the reasoning behind it.

I miss those days. I am totally ready for another one. But we all agree that I should have a job first. So we can better take care of these little beings. We're not done paying off our Euro-trips either. You see priorities here, right?!?! :p

It's only gotten better as he's gotten older. He's so ridiculously funny, I couldn't even type out all the stuff he says and does, I'd be up until 4 a.m. again. He's so smart. The other day he said to me out of nowhere: "Mommy, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT" and he actually pointed to the proper side each time! I sure didn't teach him that!

He's finally potty-trained. If anything good came out of my unemployment so far, that is it. I should even put it on my resume "potty training a little boy" 'cause it's not an easy task! I feel accomplished in that respect, for sure. It's so funny though, he still tries to hold in everything as long as he possibly can and he runs in circles holding himself when it's about to come out because he just CAN'T miss a thing on Disney Jr.!!

I am so blessed and lucky to have this little man. He's the sunshine of my life! He runs up to me and his Dad constantly, all on his own saying "I LOVE YOU!!" *Melts* sometimes he'll grab my face to kiss me, all on his own! He must love his Mommy. ;)
He's obsessed with his cars and trains, with Thomas and Elmo. We're trying to get him into other movies because I'm not sure how much more we can take of Elmo! I can handle Thomas, just no more Elmo!
I still look at him daily and wonder how he's mine. How did I get so blessed? I'm not sure he's going to be allowed to become a teenager, but we'll see. Mom's of teenagers seem to have some fun as well, but I don't like the non-ability to cuddle, due to them being too big.

His laugh is my favorite. And I honestly don't mind him crawling in our bed in the wee morning hours EVERY DAY because it's just too stinking wonderful to be able to wake up to his sweet, perfect face every morning. <3 He's not going to do this forever.

I cannot wait until his birthday party next week. I love celebrating the best thing to ever happen to me!

So today we're just sitting at home and hoping the place doesn't blow away and waiting to see if we have to go pick up our soldier or not. Only to bring him back again tomorrow anyway. Who signed us up for living here in the snowy tundras??! Oh yeah, we did! We begged for it! I kind of miss Europe. I was employed there. But hey, we're HOME and that's all that matters.

God is good, always. But I'm just a bit crabby today. And that's okay.